Go Noob Outside/Transcripts
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Noob Kids on the Block/Transcripts


[bell rings]

Shope: Have you noticed? There hasn't been a virus attack in over a week.

Roach: It's just really nice to sit in lunch again and relax and enjoy whatever this is.

Tyler: Food. I think it's food.

Kevin: Well, I can't relax, 'cause if the virus can strike at any time, so must I.


Shope: [whispering] Please put that away. We're only supposed to wear those during an attack.

Kevin: Hey. We have to be ready.

Tyler: But something could go wrong.


Kevin: Like what?


Tyler: Like being a talking dog in school.

Roach: A really ugly dog, too.

Kevin: What?

Tyler: Quick, in the locker!

[kids chatter]

Shope: [whispering] Press your battle button and turn back human.

Kevin: Got it! [zap] Still a dog! [zap] Still a dog! [zap, thud] Owww! Big dog! [zap] Ah! I can't change back! [cries] Help me! Bark! Bark!

Kevin: Bark.

XR4Ti: I detect a malfunction in the red battleball. Update recommended.

Memnock: The process takes about an hour.

Zenblock: We might as well update all of your battleballs just to be safe.

Kevin: Well, move it! I don't wanna be a dog anymore!


XR4Ti: Meadow warning detected.

Memnock: Oh, it's just a chipmunk.

Zenblock: Wait...

Kevin: Chipmunk! [screams] Chipmunk, chipmunk, chipmunk, chipmunk! [on XR4Ti's screen] Chipmunk, chipmunk, chipmunk, chipmunk, chipmunk, chipmunk!

Tyler: We gotta stop him!

Tyler, Roach, Shope, Memnock, and Zenblock: Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin!

Memnock: Um, we have to find dog Kevin fast.

Tyler: Why?

Zenblock: Well, if he stays in one form for more than three hours, it may permanently alter his DNA.

Shope: What does that mean, "permanently alter his DNA"?

Memnock: It means dog Kevin will be just dog.

Tyler, Shope, and Roach: [scream]

Kevin: Bark! Bark! Do you hear me barking?!

[chipmunk chatters]

Kevin: [gasps] Is that a mock? Are you mocking me?!

[chipmunk laughs]

Kevin: [grunting]

Tyler: Kevin, you have to come with us now.

Kevin: I'm not going anywhere until I do something wrong to that chipmunk! Gah! [grunts]

Roach: If we don't change you back in three hours, you will stay an ugly dog forever.

Shope: He's in shock.

Tyler: But this is good, 'cause we'll just carry him back to the nice alien ship and--

[truck drives away]

Roach, Shope, and Tyler: [scream]

Dog Catcher: [whistling]

[cats yowl]

Kevin: Oh no...

[gates clunk]

Roach: I say we use our battleballs to blast through the walls and then rescue our best friend, who is an ugly dog.

Tyler: No. We can only use our powers to fight evil. It's the superhero code.

Zenblock: Mm, that, and they are all rebooting back at the Galacticus.

Roach: Oh, right.

Memnock: So... what do we do?

Tyler: You adopt it. Go Bob and Rob and tell the warden you want a dog you can cuddle with and throw the ball to.

Zenblock: [as Rob] Right! Then we eat it!

Tyler: No! No eat! You don't eat it.

Memnock: [as Bob] Why? They have four legs and don't talk. Isn't that Earth food?

Zenblock: We would like to adopt a dog to play with and not eat.

Warden: Oh, well right this way. We got lots to choose from, so just take your pick.

[dog snarls]

Kevin: Bark! Bark, bark!

Memnock: [sing-song] Look who we're bringing home!

Shope, Roach, and Tyler: [cheering]

Zenblock: Ooh! He is so the adorable! We're going to call him Rex!

Tyler: Where's Kevin? You were supposed to adopt Kevin!

Memnock: Have you seen dog Kevin? He's very ugly and can be temperamental.

Zenblock: Oh, but look at this little guy!

Tyler: We have like, two hours to get Kevin before he stays a dog forever!

Memnock: Okay, we messed up. But who can resist this face?

Shope, Roach, and Tyler: [cooing]

[cats yowling and hissing]

Kevin: I gotta get outta here, man. I can't be a dog forever! I have to play video games, eat pizza, and--

[cats hiss]


[cats yowl]

Kevin: [loudly] Help!

Tyler: Okay, which one of you can cry on cue?

Roach: Ooh! I can!

Roach: [crying]

Warden: Oh no... what's wrong sweetie?

Tyler: He's crying 'cause he lost his dog, not 'cause he slapped himself nine times.

Warden: Well, that's what we're here for. Reuniting boys with their dogs. Now let's go find your pup.

Tyler: Yes!

Roach: [sing-song] Look who we're bring home!

Tyler: What were you thinking?!

Roach: That I always wanted a puppy. I'm gonna call him Rex.

Memnock: Hey, you can't call him Rex, our puppy is Rex!

Roach: Then... this is Rex 2.

Zenblock: That is a horrible name!

Memnock: Oh, they are so cute! I wanna just... I'm giddy.

Zenblock: Oh look, he's got my nose. How did he get that?

XR4Ti: Countdown to Kevin turning into a permanent dog is now one hour. But download is complete. Now I just need Kevin here, and not in the dog pound.

Tyler: Shope is our last hope. And you have to get Kevin out of there and not a puppy!

Shope: Don't worry, for allow me to "volunteer" a plan and disguise.

Warden: So, you wanna be a volunteer.

Shope: [acting] I am a dog lover, a lover of dogs. And I would love to get a dog, perhaps an ugly dog, outside in the fresh air and just see it smile again.

[dogs barking]

Shope: Look how cute they all are!

Memnock: Puppy walk!

Roach: Rex 2!

Roach, Zenblock, and Memnock: [chatter excitedly]

Zenblock: Everybody get a leash!

Tyler: [groans]

Kevin: 30 minutes. I have 30 minutes to get out of here! I gotta get out!

[cats laughing]


[cats yowl]

Kevin: How hard is it to adopt a dog?!

Warden: Who said that?! Hello? Who was that?

Kevin: [acting like an alien] I am from Planet Dog. Take me to your leader.

Warden: [faints]

Kevin: Heh. I knew that would work. [laughs]

Kevin: Hey! Three hours I've been waiting for you to adopt me, and you adopt seven puppies?!

Zenblock: We couldn't resist the puppy loveliness!

Kevin: Get me in one of those boxes and back to the Galacticus, now!


Kevin: Lemme guess. Two pound pets got infected by the virus?

Tyler, Zenblock, Roach, Memnock, and Shope: Mm-hmm.

Cat Beasts: [purr]

Warden: [screams]

Kevin: Do they resemble wet cats in any way?

Tyler, Zenblock, Roach, Memnock, and Shope: Mm-hmm.

Kevin: Would it be accurate to say the virus got in their drinking water?

Tyler, Zenblock, Roach, Memnock, and Shope: Mm-hmm.

Kevin: I told you the virus could attack at any time! [screams]

Memnock: This could delay our getting him back to the ship!

Cat Beasts: [growl]


Memnock: Run! Run for your lives!

Tyler: [panting] We can't run! We've gotta get Kevin back to the ship! Whoa!

Zenblock: [normal form] You think you could get the Extractor next to that?


Cat Beasts: [growl]

Kevin: Uh, help me?!


Zenblock: They are unstoppable! They have lasers for eyes!

[blasting, fart]

Memnock: [normal form] And... they have nine lives!

Cat Beasts: [hiss and growl]

Shope: [panting] They have no weakness! Ahh!

Cat Beasts: [growl]

Zenblock: Yeah. We're toast.

Tyler: No. Everybody has a weakness. Go puppies!

Cat Beasts: [growl]

Shope: More puppies!

Cat Beasts: [purr]

[Extractor zap]

Tyler: Not even laser cats can resist the cuteness of puppies.

Kevin: Bark!

[cats yowl]

Kevin: Or the cutness of me!


Memnock: Dude, you're like, so ugly right now, you have no idea.

Tyler: Let's go! We have three minutes!

[All shout]

Zenblock: Quick, hurry! There's no time!

XR4Ti: Battleball rebooting.

Kevin: Haha, I'm me again!

Roach: So, what's the first thing you're gonna do?

Shope: Play video games?

Tyler: Eat pizza?

Kevin: Nope. I wanna test my updated battleball and be a dog again.

Memnock, Zenblock, Shope, Roach, and Tyler: What?!

Kevin: A slightly bigger dog.

Dog Catcher: Ahh! [screams]

[animals chatter]

Zenblock: I have to say, we're very proud of our Noobs today.

Kevin: Okay. Now I wanna eat pizza and play video games. Ahh, wait a sec! [grunting] Oh, yeah! Awww, yeah!