Curb Your Noob/Transcripts
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Fourth Down and Noob to Go/Transcripts

[bell rings]

Tyler: "The Middle Sing & Dance Off." Why are we looking at this?

Kevin: Because we're entering!

Shope: I don't think so.

Kevin: Look. Girls love dudes who sing and dance. It's a fact. [singing badly] Now let's sign up and get our groove o-o-o-o-o-o-on.

Shope: Girls like boys who are good at singing and dancing.

Kevin: Oh, yeah? Well, what do you call this?


Shake your booty butt.

Kevin: Go, Roach! Go, Roach!


Shake your booty butt.

Kevin: Uh! Uh! Go, Roach!


Shake your booty butt.

[Backup Singers]

Shake, shake it, shake it. Shake, shake it, shake it. Shake, shake it, shake it. Shake, shake--

Tyler: Yeah, we're not signing up.

Principal: Yes, you are! Because you all need to try new things and be involved in more school activities! So go... Super-Tastic Groove-Tone 4!

Kevin: That's a horrible name.

Principal: Erase it, and be suspended for life! Bye, everyone!

Tyler: Okay. How can this get any worse?

Jock Jockerson: OMG. Did you loser noobs just enter the Sing & Dance Off?

Noobs: Uh...

Jock Jockerson: "Groove-Tone 4"? Ha! More like "Lose-Tone 4", 'cause I'm gonna win so bad, they're gonna have to rename the Sing & Dance Off to the "Jock-Won-It-So-Bad-Off!"

Kevin: Again with the horrible names.

Jock Jockerson: [singing badly] Whatever, you loser noobs! Shove them into their lockers now!

[clunk, clunk, clunk]

Tyler: Okay. Now how can this get any worse?


[Glee Club]

Oh, we're the glee club, now you know (whoa-whoa)

And we will kick you to the flo' (whoa-whoa)

Get on your knees and make you bow (whoa-whoa)

So shove them in their lockers now (whoa-whoa)

[clunk, clunk, clunk]

Kevin: Hey! That's a terrible song!

Tyler: Okay. Now how can this get any worse?

[virus pod swooshes]

[alarms blaring]

Memnock and Zenblock: [panicked screaming]

Memnock: Eh, yes, general. [clears throat] We're not, eh, sleeping late.

General Blorgon: Memnock and Zenblock, a new strain of the virus has been discovered in the outer galaxy.

Secretary Hedies: [whispers indistinctly]

General Blorgon: [whispers] Yes, I know. [out loud] It is back, and has been nicknamed "The Elimination Virus"

Secretary Techn'ut: [whispers indistinctly]

General Blorgon: [whispers] Yes, I know. [out loud] It can assimilate into an Earthling's brain without changing its form.

Secretary Hedies and Secretary Techn'ut: [whispering indistinctly]

General Blorgon: Okay, both of you zip it!,[clears throat] And it has one job: to take out virus warriors and destroy them!

Memnock: We will assemble our virus team immediately, sir!

Zenblock: We have made great progress with them! Every day, they look more and more like true warriors!


Shake your booty butt. Shake your booty butt.

Zenblock: What the heck are you doing?!

Roach: [singing badly] It's called singing and dancing in very cool outfits 'cause tomorrow we're winning the Sing & Dance Off!

Memnock: They're really good.

Zenblock: Okay, stop it!

[record scratches]

Zenblock: 'Cause we all need to stop... this!

Tyler: What is that?

Memnock: Meet the elimination virus, and you can't tell who's infected until it's too late.

Shope: Are you saying that there might be a beast out there that we can't tell is a beast and it wants to destroy us?

Zenblock: Uh, yes.

Memnock: Or beasts. There could be more. And they could be... anywhere.

Kevin: Eh, you mean like, you could be infected?

Memnock and Zenblock: Yes.

Zenblock: But we're not.

Noobs: Phew...

XR4Ti: A scan of Cornbury reveals a possible pod landing in this area.

Shope: Um, that's the whole town.

Zenblock: Yeah, so it might take us a while to find it. Eh, meanwhile, trust no one.

Memnock: 'Cept us.

Noobs: Phew...

Memnock: Okay. Good luck with your singy-offy thing tomorrow.

[bell rings]

Tyler: So they could be anyone, anywhere, at any time.

Kevin: Well, don't worry. 'Cause our awesome Super-Tastic Groove-Tone 4 outfits conceal our awesome battleballs! So I say bring on the Sing & Dance Off and that elimination virus!

Amy Anderson: Hey, Tyler.

Kevin: [screams] Danger! Run!

Roach, Shope, and Tyler: [screaming]

Amy Anderson: I'm looking forward to hearing you sing today!

Kevin, Shope, and Tyler: [panting]

Kevin: Okay. New plan. We cannot go up on stage because we will be sitting ducks if the elimination virus hits.

Tyler: Uh, Amy Anderson just said she's looking forward to me singing today. [chuckling] And who knows if the elimination virus is anywhere near Earth?


[Noobs scream]

Kid 1: Don't you just hate loose sweater strings?


Kid 2: Look what I made for my big history project!

Noobs: Phew...


[Noobs scream]

Lunch Lady: Hey! Guess who got a new--

Kevin: Donkey blow! (?)

Lunch Lady: [yelling] Cooking knife!

Shope: Okay, we might be overreacting. But what lunch lady demonstrates a cooking knife like that?

Tyler: Secret janitor closet's meeting now!

[light buzzes]

Tyler: Okay. Mem and Zen said they are hunting for the elimination virus, so let's just calm down, 'cause I'm sure they're working super hard right now to find it.

[Backup Singers]

Shake, shake it, shake it.

Zenblock: Oh, that is terrible! You're not even moving to the beat!

Memnock: Well, I like Earth dancing! At least I'm moving!

Zenblock: Step aside and watch the Earth dancing master blaster. [inhales] Hit it! This is how it's done. [laughing]

XR4Ti: Shouldn't you be looking for the possible arrival location of the elimination virus?

Zenblock: As soon as we figure out who the best Earth dancer is!

Memnock: And I should be victorious in about ten seconds!


Shake your booty butt.

[Backup Singers]

Shake, shake it, shake it. Shake, shake it, shake it. Shake, shake it, shake it. Shake, shake it, shake it.


Shake your booty butt.

[Backup Singers]

Shake, shake it, shake it.

Shope: Okay. The Sing-Off is next period, and we have not heard from Mem and Zen at all!

Tyler: So we agree to blow off the rest of school, which is bad. But being destroyed by the elimination virus is worse.

Shope, Kevin, and Roach: Agreed.

Kevin: If there's one thing I'm good at, it's skipping school. So everyone just follow me. I swear to you. I am usually much better at this.

Principal: What do you think you're doing?

Tyler: Uhh... what do you think we're doing?

Principal: Ooh! I think Super-Tastic Groove-Tone 4 was hiding in the janitor's closet to practice, 'cause it's time for the Sing & Dance Off!

Noobs: That's it.

[crowd cheers]

Tyler: Okay, well if the elimination virus doesn't kill us, that might.

Jock Jockerson: [singing badly] I'm Jock! I'm Jock! And this is how I rock! I'm Jock! I'm Jock! And this is how I rock! And now I dance!

[crowd cheers]

Principal: Ooh! A super score for Mr. Jockerson!

Tyler: Hey, we're still alive. Maybe we're freaking out for nothing!


Principal: And now, it's time for Cornbury Middle School's very own glee club!

[Glee Club]

It is we, the club from glee!

Obliterate, eliminate, detonate, annihilate!

Shope: Okay. Start freaking out!

Kevin: Where are Mem and Zen?!

Memnock: I'm tired of you always saying you're better than me!

Zenblock: I'm tired of you always criticizing me!

Memnock: Well, I'm tired of you telling me you're tired!

Zenblock: [panting] I'm... just... tired.

Memnock: Me... too.

XR4Ti: Galacticus drones have located the virus pod. It's at the school.

Memnock and Zenblock: Uh-oh.

[Gleec Club]

Our song is filled (Oh yeah)

With pain and mirth (Oh yeah)

It's your last five seconds on Earth!

[crowd cheers]

Principal: Okay! Well, that was a very interesting song. But it's one of the biggest cheers of the night!

Tyler: Okay. I think since we're terrible at singing and dancing and we like living, we get out of here now!

Kevin: And again, nobody is better at cutting classes than me! Move out!


Kevin: Huh. Again, I am usually much better at this.

Principal: Now, give it up for Super-Tastic Groove-Tone 4!

Jock Jockerson: You stink!

[beat starts]

Jock Jockerson: Okay. That's not a bad beat!

Tyler: I don't see them!

Kevin: Well, just in case... hit it!

Amy Anderson: Go, Tyler!

Tyler: They're in the control booth!

[Glee Club]

Do re mi fa sol la goodbye!


Whoa! Whoa! Oh, oh, whoa!

Oh! Oh!

Jock Jockerson: Aw! An expensive light show? Not fair!


Oh-whoa, oh-oh

Oh-whoa, oh-whoa

Oh-whoa, oh-oh

Super-Tastic 4


You've got to blast them back

If you wanna win


So get ready for the Super-Tastic

Groove-Tone 4 finale spin


Absorb the energy, absorb the energy

Absorb the energy!

[Kevin, Tyler, and Roach]

Whoa, oh, oh, oh


Oh, whoa, whoa!


[crowd cheers]

Jock Jockerson: Okay, I guess that was pretty good...

Principal: Super-Tastic Groove-Tone 4 hits total awesomeness!

Kevin: I told you we should enter the Sing & Dance Off.

[teleportation zap]

Zenblock: Awesome! The Noobs won the dance contest!

Memnock: And stopped the elimination virus.

[Extractor zaps]

Roach: And now for one last move!


Shake your booty butt.

[Backup Singers]

Shake, shake it, shake it.

Principal: Ooh, and now they broke the cheer-o-meter, so Jock wins!

Jock Jockerson: Oh, yeah! Oh, oh, oh yeah!

[Backup Singers]

Shake, shake it, shake it.

Shope: He really needs to stop that.

Zenblock and Memnock: Man, he's good.


Shake your booty butt.