Who, What, Where and Noob/Transcripts
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Where No Noob Has Gone Before/Transcripts

Tyler: Aww, c'mon. It will be fun. And tonight will be the night that I will dance with the fair Amy Anderson.

Amy Anderson: [giggling]

Shope: Yeah, well, without the help of battleballs, we can't dance.

Roach: [clears throat] I will have you know that I have been working on some new sweet moves. Eh-check it! [grunting]


Shake your booty butt

Shope: Don't ever do that again. Now...

Kevin: [screaming] Help! The batteballs! Now! Stop it! Now!

Jessie: Kevin!

Kevin: Help me... [screams]

Jessie: Where is he?

Roach: Not in this locker.

Jessie: [grunts]

Kevin: [squeaky] Hi, Jessie.

Jessie: You will dance with me tonight, Kevin Snugglemuffin.

Roach: Aww, Kevin's in love.

Tyler: That's not love, that's silent terror.

Roach: Oh. Right.

Principal: Are you four ready for the greatest middle school medieval dance ever?

Kevin: Frankly, Principal, this dance looks like it's gonna--

Principal: It's a fun, medieval theme where everyone gets a free soft sword!

Roach: Yay! Aww...

Principal: And young knights might rescue a fair maiden from the dragon!

Jock Jockerson: Woo-hoo!

Shope: Girls do not need help defeating that.

Jock Jockerson: We don't wanna do this!

Principal: Then you shouldn't have spray-painted "The Jock rules!" in the boys locker room!

Jock Jockerson: But... I do rule.

Principal: But that dragon does not! So leave right now and don't come back until you've made a better dragon! Back to work everyone.

Kevin: I am not going to to this dance.

Tyler: Oh, yes you are, 'cause if the virus hits, do you know how many kids could get infected? Including my sweet, sweet Amy. Now, we are going to go to this dance and we will dance good.

Principal: Okay, move that banner over here!

Zenblock: We are most pleased you have come on your day off for extra training!

Memnock: We will start with a lesson in the ancient art of battle swords!

[swords hum]

Zenblock: Now, if a fire virus ever reaches the Earth, your battle swords will, eh...

Roach: Yeah, great, whatever. We need dance training!

Zenblock: Um, we're here to save your world, not your pathetic social lives.

Memnock: Aw, I think it's sweet that they come to us for help. Plus, you got some new sweet moves. Go ahead, show 'em.

Zenblock: Eh, eh, I will not show them. They are my moves. I teach no one. And nothing you will say can change my mind.

Tyler: Okay, well, how 'bout--

Zenblock: Fine, I will teach you!

[music plays]

Kevin: Oh, and teach me to use my powers to stop a girl from dancing with me! Her love hurts.

Memnock: Don't worry. We'll be there right beside you, disguised as... janitors!

Zenblock: [as Rob] And the moves I will teach you will have the whole school dancing! [laughs]

[music plays]

Memnock: [as Bob] They're not dancing.

Zenblock: Because Earth is lame!

Jessie: Kevin!

Kevin: Okay, Operation: Hide Me, commence!

Jessie: Where is my snugglemuffin named Kevin?

Roach: Not in the--

Tyler and Shope: Haven't seen him!

Tyler, Roach, and Shope: [scream]

Kevin: [squeaky] Hi, Jessie.

Jessie: Dance with me now!

Kevin: [crying]

Jessie: Kevin! Don't be afraid of our love!

[splash, hum]

Amy Anderson: Hey, Tyler.

Tyler: Hi, Amy.

Amy Anderson: Uh, nobody is dancing, so I thought maybe we could get this party started?

Tyler: Uh... uh...

Memnock, Shope, Zenblock, Roach, and Kevin: He'd love to!

Amy Anderson: [giggling] Come on! Just move, it's easy.

Zenblock: C'mon... just like I taught you.

[all cheer]

Memnock: Good. Show your moves. Now that's groovy.

Shope: Maybe this dance will be great.

Kevin: Oh no.

Shope: Maybe not.

Jessie: Give me tips on how to dance with Kevin and win his love.

Roach: I always find that when a girl offers me a cup of punch, I find it both magic and refreshing.


Jessie: Punch time! Awesome! It's glowing!

Memnock and Zenblock: Did she say the punch was glowing?

Jessie: [growls]

Shope: Yeah. She's infected.

Jessie: [growls]

Zenblock: And it's a fire virus!

Memnock, Shope, Roach, and Zenblock: [scream]

Jessie: [snarls]

Kevin: How can we use our powers to stop her?!

Jessie: [growls]

[kids scream]

Principal: Ooh! Now that's a much better dragon costume! So real. Quick, knights, save your maidens!

Amy Anderson: Ha! I don't need a knight to save me.

Jessie: [growls]

Amy Anderson: Need a fact (?) Retreat to the second floor! Okay, I think you're safe.

[Jessie growls, kids scream]

Tyler: And alone, heheh, with you. [inhales] Not near the dragon. [laughs nervously] It's probably totally fake.

Kevin: Okay, gang! You know what to do!

Kevin, Roach, and Shope: Go, battleballs!

Kevin: Now what do we do?

Memnock: You remove your battleballs and simply request your...

Zenblock: Battle swords!

Kevin: Cool! Now what do we do?

Memnock: Uh, you...

Memnock and Zenblock: Attack!

[swords hum]

Kevin: [battle cry][grunt] Not even close...

Amy Anderson: What's the matter? It's like your head is somewhere else.

Tyler: Oh. Like my friends might desperately need my help and I'm worried about how to protect you from a dragon?

Amy Anderson: Haha, come on, it's just pretend.

Jessie: [growls]

[kids scream]

Kevin: [to Tyler] Oh! Hey kid I've never seen before and oh...

Shope: Fire virus dragon on the way!

Roach: It is definitely almost here now!

Amy Anderson: What was that?

Tyler: Amy, there's something I need to do.

Amy Anderson: [gasps] Oh really? Like what? Hey! Tyler!

Tyler: I'm sorry, but you'll thank me later! Possibly not ever...

Amy Anderson: Tyler!

Jessie: [growls]

Kevin: She's gone. Ha! We probably scared her off to space, where she'll never bother us again.

Roach: Then again...

Jessie: [growls]

Shope: What is this? What is this goop?

Dragons: [roar]

Memnock: It's virus-spreading goop!

Memnock and Zenblock: [scream]

Tyler: Looks like I got here just in time.

Shope: Now, would be time to be destroyed.

Roach: Wrong! 'Cause it's time for me to... hit it!


Shake your booty butt. Shake your booty butt.

[Backup Singers]

Shake, shake it, shake it. Shake, shake it, shake it. Shake, shake it, shake it

Roach: [grunting]

[Backup Singers]

Shake, shake it, shake it. Shake, shake--


Tyler: Maybe he's not a bad dancer.

Jessie: [growls]

Zenblock: Ah! And there's only one dragon left!


Jessie: [growls]

Kevin: Cool. Now she's running from us!

Memnock: And we'll get it later. Right now, we have to extract the virus from the infected students.

Zenblock: Besides, there's nobody in the upstairs hallway, right?

Amy Anderson: When I find that boy, I'm gonna give him a--

Jessie: [growls]

Amy Anderson: Piece of my...

[Super Noobs battle theme]

Amy Anderson: Why'd you stop fighting?! It's gonna eat us!

Jessie: [growls]


[Extractor zaps]

Jessie: [groans] Kevin...

Amy Anderson: You saved my life, I think... Who are you? [gasps] You can't tell me!

Tyler: [deeper voice] You should get back to the dance. Maybe even to a boy you know there, who's sweet and nice and doesn't have superpowers. I have to go.

Principal: Okay. My dance got out of hand. But you should've seen the dragon! So scary!

Jock Jockerson: Ooh, yah! New dragon's here! Hahaha...

Principal: [faints]

Fireman: Okay! Let's wrap up this party with a slow dance.

[music plays]

Tyler: Uh, hey Amy. Would you like to dance again? With me?

Amy Anderson: Tyler! Um, I sorta met someone else tonight... So um, I'm uh, kinda waiting to see if he comes back.

Tyler: Of course you are. She's in love with my hero self.

Shope: Ahh, the curse of the superhero.

Tyler: Kevin's right. Dances do hurt.

Memnock: Speaking of hurt...

Kevin: Okay, I feel bad! But what am I supposed to do?

Roach: Dance with her?

Shope: How bad can one dance hurt?

Tyler: It would be nice.

Kevin: Nice? A slow dance with Jessie? No. Nothing is gonna get me to-- [screams]

Jessie: Yes! Dreams do come true!

Shope, Kevin, and Tyler: Ooh...

Kevin: Her love hurts! I told you! Her love hurts!